I Lost My Mind...But I'm Back

One would think that after many attempts in my effort to get in shape (and I have had success in the past) that I would know a thing or two about self sabotage.  Hmmm... well lets just say I blew it big time.  First it was out of frustration that the scale wasn't moving (or more accurately - it wasn't moving fast enough).  Then I fell into the "well it's the holidays so why bother".  Oh and there was the "I have PCOS so this is going to be impossible". What! anything is possible. I basically used every excuse in the book to have a 3 month binge.  The result - I managed to gain 12lbs without event thinking about it.  Sounds crazy, right?

Well on January 10th I finally came to my senses.  I still haven't really started working out but I did dial back on my eating big time.  I am still getting plenty of food - just better quality and I am back to the Paleo way of life.  I feel so much better.  Eating crap really makes me feel like crap.  Even though it is oh so enjoyable in the moment - the overall all effect if just awful.  Bloated stomach, achy joints, and endless sinus infection are some of the issues that seem to plague me when I don't eat clean. I somehow catch a serious case of amnesia every now and then and forget that eating bad food really doesn't agree with me.  I am praying that I stay conscience from here on out.  I am still a work in progress.

Now that I am 6 weeks in I have managed to lose most of the weight I had gained.  The first 8lbs came off easy and after that first weigh in I was like... whoa this is going to be easy! But since then I have been losing about 1 lb per week.  At that rate it is going to take me much longer to get to my goal.  With that said I am making some adjustments to my goals.

1. I am changing my workout goals.  For starters I am strapping on the Fitbit and I am going to get those 10,000 steps in.
2. Start doing the "7 Point Check Down" workout given to me by my friend Dion Ashman  (www.facebook.com/dion.ashman).  Don't worry about if I am doing it perfectly or struggling with it.  Just do it to the best of my ability.  It's better than not trying at all.
3. Be happy with any movement in the right direction.
4. Be consistent - and let me tell you this is probably the hardest part for me. I have always had a hard time following any routines.
5. Keep it simple.  I have a tendency to take on too much.  One step at a time grasshopper, one step at a time.

Well in the spirit of keeping it simple.  That is it for now.

Peace

EPIC FAIL??

 

I am incredibly frustrated.  I am almost 45 days into this journey and I still haven't been able to loose ANY weight? Since I weigh well over 200 lbs. the initial 10lbs should be easy.  I got so frustrated that I gave in.  I went on a 10 eat whatever I want kind of binge.  Guess what...I didn't gain any weight.  Not that I was trying but I find it interesting that it doesn't seem to matter what I am eating I am still weighing the same no matter what.

The other day I was speaking with my friend Angie and she is going low carb (eating 100 grams of protein a day) and is already losing weight.  So I think...Hmmm, I am already pretty much Paleo why not go low carb and see what happens.  So I started on Tuesday. I can't say I'm eating Paleo since I have had a little dairy here and there but I am low carbing it (still eating the best quality food I can afford).  So 5 days in....zip nadda.  Not an ounce. I am retaining fluid.  Maybe not drinking enough water?? Maybe Aunt Flow is to close??  I don't know what the F#$K is going on but I am going to stick with this for the rest of the month to see what happens.  I joined a local gym too. I will check in later this month to let you know how I am doing.

S.

GETTIN' BACK ON TRACK

Ok.  So I have been off track for the past couple of days.  I don't think I did too much damage. However the fact remains that I didn't make any progress.  I almost slid into the "why bother" or as my good friend Nancy likes to call it "fuck it mode" mindset again. I have it admit that I am finding it hard to stay motivated.  After all it's been a whole month now and I haven't made anyprogress.  So with that said I need to re-think a few things.

1. I am going to simplify my eating plan.  Only meals with a few ingredients and I need to prepare 90% of it myself.  Clearly I must be doing something wrong?? 

2. Go to the Dr. and get my thyroid and hormones checked out.  Could be something wrong there.

3. I joined a gym.  Back to LA Fitness I go.  This should help take some of those excuses off of the table.  Like it's too hot to work out when it 100 degrees out. 

 

 

BTW... Kudos to those committed people I see jogging in the middle of the afternoon in the sweltering heat.  I don't know how you do it but I am envious of your commitment!!

I am another month closer to hitting that landmark birthday but yet no closer to my goal.  I sit here still committed and today I will begin this journey as if today is the first day. I am going to put all of my mistakes behind me.

Suzanne

I NEED A SERIOUS PUSH!!!

Ok...First let me say that I have been quite impressed with by ability to stay on track with my eating.  If you are wondering what program (for me it's more of a lifestyle) I am going with let me tell you.  I pretty much have gone Paleo.  No Dairy (with the exception of grass-feed ghee), No Grains, No Legumes.  As Sean Croxton would say, I JERF (Just Eat Real Food)!!!  The best quality real food that I can get my hands on. This isn't the first time that I have gone Paleo.  However, it's the first time that I've really stuck with it and didn't re-write the rules to suit my love of cheese or binge on bacon.  I also have been very conscious of my portions which is still a constant struggle.

 

Last week I caught myself as I was just about to sabotage myself again.  Can you relate?  Have you ever been doing really well and then you fall off the wagon for no good reason other than you just decided that those french fries where just to good to pass up.  You eat them and then decide - jeez they weren't even that good, and what you really wanted was some ice cream....Anyone out there relate to what I'm saying? Well some how I have managed to avoid that train of thought and stay on course. I have to tell you I feel good, I feel strong, I feel unbreakable.  This blog has definitely made a huge difference. But....

 

I still haven't gotten my workout routine together.  Still not getting it in and I still have a boat load of excuses on why.  I need to figure it out and figure it out quick.  The clock is steady ticking down. 

 

-Suzanne

OH, LET THE FRUSTRATION BEGIN

Patience has never been one of my better virtues. I want what I want - and I want it now!  It's funny how I can be very tenacious on some things and not so much on others.  You know...like hunting down the perfect piece of pineapple upside down cake vs. that 4 mile hike I was supposed to take but decided to sleep in instead.  Pleasure vs. pain I guess. Well... today I broke one of my rules.  I got on the scale.  After all I have been eating great for the past two weeks and surely my good deeds are starting a pay off, right? So I jump on the scale expecting some great results - after all my stomach no longer looks like I am 6 months preggers.  Imagine my dismay when I realize that I have actually gained a few ounces.  I get off the scale thinking this can't be right.  Jump back on only to see the same damn numbers blinking back at me. WTF!!!  Talk about frustration!!!!!!

 

 

I am writing this entry today to keep myself grounded and focused.  See - this is normally the point where I would say..."it doesn't seem to matter what I eat so- F@%K IT - I might as well eat those fries". Well not today my friends.  I am NOT going to be my own enemy and I am NOT going to be defeated on achieving my goals.  Yes, I ate great - but I didn't work out the way I intended.  Maybe, just maybe, I am on the verge of a break through.  Stay focused that the results will happen!

-Suzanne

COFESSIONS OF A FOOD ADDICT

Hello, my name is Suzanne and I am a food addict... 

 

Yes, it's true and is something that I have recently come to grips with.  This journey I am on is mostly a journey of recovery. Me, trying to retrain this brain of mine. Like any other addict (booze or drugs) I use food to feel better. It took having to sit through a DUI education class recently to figure this out. I had to take this class because of a DUI that I got back in 1996.  At first I was very irritated that I had to sit through these classes.  After all I don't (and I really don't) have a problem with substance abuse. However, as I sat and listened to these informational videos and stories I did come to the realization that I am very addicted to the high I get from comfort food.

 

Just yesterday I went food shopping and then took my son to get a pizza (as I promised him over a week ago) and as I was sitting there my mouth started watering. Then I started thinking," how many miles could I walk so that I could justify having some pizza"  even though I had a car full of healthy groceries. " Be strong," I'm thinking as I am sitting there looking at the donut shop 3 doors down and thinking, "oh my," they have those apple fritters.  What if I get some for the kids for breakfast so that I don't have to cook before I go on my hike.  One or two bits wont hurt, right?  But one or two bites turn into half of the fritter, then next thing you know I have eaten practically this whole thing and my kid is the one who only got a couple of bites. The only difference this time I was aware of how irrational my thinking was. Now I am not going to lie here...I did succumb but not to the pizza and I didn't buy the fritters. I came home and had a couple of handfuls of plantain chips.  See my trigger food is chips. Salty, greasy, and crunchy chips! My personal favorite is the tortilla chip or buttery & salty popcorn. While baked plantain chips aren't the worst  thing I could have had...it is a gateway drug for me. I can usually eat the whole bag over the course of the day.  It is why I am on no a chip thing for 90 days.  So today is day one, again.  I will not give up!!

 

 

UDATE on the workout schedule.  I am struggling here, too.  I only did about 50% of my schedule from last week.  I am probably going to have to revise that too. However, I will do better this week.  I am lucky to have such great friends cheering me on!  I will update my workout schedule publicly in about a week once I figure out what will really work with my schedule.

 

 

 

GOTTA HAVE A PLAN

I woke up this morning feeling a little sore.  Wasn’t sure if it was from the Yoga class or the Fryman Canyon hike I took yesterday.  Either way it’s that good kind of sore.  You know the one where you feel like you did something but you’re not in serious pain.  I feel like I really need a good stretch.  Bingo! You guessed it’s time to take these old bones back to yoga today.

Today's epiphany: If this is to really work I better have a plan!  I need to map out exactly what my fitness routine is going to be.  If I fly by the seat of my pants I will be setting myself up for failure (again).   I am the queen of excuses.  Gotta take the kids to practice, or I need to type a report, or I’m too tired my body needs to rest.  Any of these sound familiar to you?  My big excuse as of lately is the kids are still on summer vacation and this has totally disrupted my workout schedule. The reality is if it was a hot date or drinks with friends I would figure out how to make the time.  So why can’t I figure out how to make time for something that is so important for my health and wellbeing?  Probably the same reason I eat things that I know are bad for me, or date men that are afraid of commitment…but more on those another time.

The only time I have ever really had success is when I had a personal trainer.  I imagine that is because we had a set schedule and if I didn’t show up I was l losing money. I really hate losing money L. Then there is the accountability thing.  Since hiring a personal trainer isn’t really an option right now - I need to do it for myself. Need to be creative here.  This is the reason I created this blog.  The blog is a way for me to evaluate my feelings and to hold myself accountable.  I have also enlisted the help of a few good friends as support and a little insurance.  So after speaking with my friend Ro this morning - he help me put together my training schedule.  It’s a little ambitious, not because it will be hard, but because of the time commitment.  I am the type that needs to see results quickly or I get frustrated.  So here is what we came up with for phase 1.

Guidelines

• Get the workout in as early in the day as possible  before life gets in the way
• Put workout times in my calendar so that I don’t schedule meetings during my workout times
• Cardio 1 hour a day, 5 days a week
• Yoga 3 days a week
• Circuit Training 3 days a week
• Weight myself only 2x per month (I have a really bad obsession with the scale)
• Take body measurements 1x per month

My Phase 1 Schedule

Monday:              7:00-8:00 am - 4 Mile Walk

                              6:00-7:10 pm - Yoga

Tuesday:             7:00-8:00 am - 4 Mile Walk

                              8:30-9:15 am – Circuit Training

Wednesday:      7:00-8:00 am - 4 Mile Walk

                             8:30-9:40 am – Yoga

Thursday:            7:00-8:00 am - 4 Mile Walk

                              8:30-9:15 am – Circuit Training

 Friday:                7:00-8:00 am – 4 Mile Walk

                             10:30-11:40 am – Yoga

 Saturday:           7:00-8:00 am – 4 Mile Walk

                             8:30-9:15 am – Circuit Training

 Sunday:             Freestyle!

This is my schedule for the next 10 days. Then I will have to make adjustments to accommodate the school and sports schedule of my kids.  Since I wanted to get started right away this is it for now.  Also, the 4 mile walk may seem aggressive but keep in mind that one of my goals is to be able to run a 5K.  This is my training for that. I will be walk/running.  Wish me luck.

Suzanne